Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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