drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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