guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
