I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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