he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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