there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I came so hard my ears popped.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
