I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
