Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
