My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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