I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
