I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
