So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
