THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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