party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
