I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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