If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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