this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
