what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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