we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
