He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
