I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
