Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
