he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
