I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
