i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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