just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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