NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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