I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
