you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
