Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Boobs speak an international language.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
