gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I need water and some morals
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
