this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
2020 sucks, I want a refund
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
