dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
