I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
