I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
