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He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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