She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
