Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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