got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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