That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
