Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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