she was so not down for the gang bang
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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