There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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