why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize
