Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
