i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
