I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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