dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize