um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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