It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
