i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
