You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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