hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
