her vagine was all disorganized.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
