we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Operation Purity has been aborted
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
