I'm drive I can fine osifer
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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