is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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