how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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