Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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