We're facebook friends in real life
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
