I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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