Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
All the doctor said was why
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
