i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
