Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
